Let's face it, we're all flawed in some way.
Yes, I did say it. We are all flawed in some way, shape, or type, and no matter how hard we try to deny, or prevent our flaws, they are often unavoidable. I speak from personal experience.
Even a good day, self-acceptance is difficult to come by for many people. When you're having a rough day, when you've made a few mistakes, don't like how you look, or are generally unhappy, your self-acceptance disappears quickly, and you begin to concentrate solely on your shortcomings. Self-acceptance, fortunately, is something we can cultivate. I want you to think of it as an ability that you can develop rather than an inherited characteristic that you either have or don't.
"What if we could all be up-front and accepting of the things we don't like about ourselves? Well, we can. It's a matter of getting a handle on how we look at these things."- Emily-Anne Rigal's book FLAWD: How to Stop Hating on Yourself, Others, and the Things That Make You Who You Are.
Acceptance, not avoidance, should be the focus of the conversation. Acceptance of the shortcomings, comprehension of them, building on them, and...wait for it...celebrate them. A researcher Joshua Miller, has conducted extensive research on this subject and have compiled what he believe there are seven practical tips for reclaiming your flawsome today:
- Recognize what is worrying you. It's difficult to accept your shortcomings without first knowing the source of your concerns. Look under the defects and see if there are any problems that need to be addressed.
- Use the shortcomings as a compass for self-improvement. Accepting your shortcomings should not preclude you from improving. Recognizing defects gives you the ability to work on them in certain situations. If you want to change a weakness in your personality, go for it!
- Take pride in your uniqueness. Your weaknesses may set you apart from the rest of the pack, but that's a good thing! Make sure you're not trying to fit into a mould.
- Don't let your flaws hold you back. You don't have to look far to find magical and inspiring people across history who have overcome adversity and gone on to achieve greatness.
- Put things into perspective. Grab a notepad and write down three things you're grateful for instead of dwelling on anything that's bothering you. This simple yet effective mindfulness exercise will help you feel more at ease and free.
- Google it. If your flaw is physical, look it up on the internet. That's right. Find pictures using the terms "overweight" or "big nose" in the search box. Warning: You can see some extreme photographs (some of which have been digitally altered), but it will help you keep things in perspective. We become so emotionally attached to things that we can't see what we should be grateful for.
- Change the direction of your flaw. You're far more likely to own the flaw if you can see the strength in it. If you've always been quiet and shy, for example, this may indicate that you're a keen observer as well as introspective. It is entirely up to you to both discover and mark.
Last thoughts: Please note that you are not flawed, but rather special, and I want you to keep that in mind the next time you feel less than yourself. When you consider some of the most remarkable individuals, places, and objects in the world, your mistakes make you special, and you're in good company. This one-of-a-kindness is a blessing, and it's appropriately dubbed flawsomeness.
Source : Joshua Miller | Published : Mohd Yusuf